Dwayne (7/1/11)

I've never been one to have many friends. My parents had family and acquaintances, but I don't remember either one of my parents having a close friend. Somehow I got the message that friends weren't a good thing, and that the only thing worth having in life was a list of accomplishments. I haven't had a "close" friend since I was 16.

However, about 8 years ago or so, I met Dwayne. Dwayne is a bartender who works in a lovely and classy restaurant close to where I was teaching at the time. I had a several hour break on Thursday afternoons and I needed a meal. The restaurant was in easy walking distance and quiet, and since I'm not adverse to sitting at the bar, I found myself heading over there every Thursday around 2PM and getting something to eat.

Dwayne is an easy person to like. I get along better with men than with women, and Dwayne is a "what you see is what you get" kind of a person. Thursday afternoons is very quiet at the restaurant and often we would talk for hours. Over the years, I started to drive over there even on Thursdays I didn't have to be in the city. If I timed my visits well, Dwayne and I would have lunch together at a corner table. He became the closest thing to a friend I've had in a long time. Sometimes my husband would join me for a meal at the bar, and my daughter has been there with me also.

We started to exchange birthday and Christmas gifts, and even though I knew deep down that I was only a "customer," it was still a very meaningful and satisfying relationship for me. I haven't seen Dwayne in 10 months. We haven't had extra money, so spending the afternoon at the restaurnt and handling the food and bar tab (I'm not a big drinker)along with the tip that I'd never skimp on became something we couldn't handle financially. I miss Dwayne. I miss our discussions and just keeping in touch with someone on a continuing basis.

The picture today is the hydrangea Dwayne gave me a few years ago for my birthday. It was only about a foot high in a pot, and we planted it in front of the front stairs. It's now a sizeable bush and develops more and bigger flowers every year. Everything I look at the bush, I'm reminded of Dwayne. This year it looks like the flowers will be blue.